The First Urge
by Kashikoi-kun
Summary: All crime in Bikini Bottom is legal. Now SpongeBob must convince his friends to stop committing crimes and band against Plankton who can now LEGALLY steal the formula.
1. CHAOS

Chapter 1: CHAOS

 _French Narrator here: Agh! Bikini Bottom, so peaceful and civilized. Hold on, what's this? A police car approaching the Chum Bucket: Suspenseful_

"You better not remove that ankle bracelet" a police officer warns the single-cell. "You're under house arrest for a week"

"I'll be good, officer" Plankton promises a lie. "No more stealing the Krabby Patty Secret Formula"

"You better" the officer warns the microscopic being as he enters the Chum Bucket.

"Welcome home, Sheldon" Karen monotonically says. "It's been a long 2 months without you"

"I missed you too, Karen" he replies, ignoring her calling him Sheldon. "We should just give up on stealing the formula"

"Honey, you've been attempting to steal the formula for 30 years" she tries encouraging him. "You can't give up now"

"But, I have no plans left" he admits. "And, after I got arrested for trying to steal the formula, I doubt I'll have any"

"Have you looked at Plan Alpha?" she asks, hoping her husband wasn't a complete moron.

"Alpha?" he asks, confused.

"There's no letter after Z. So, it's just called Alpha" she explains to Sheldon as he runs over to the file cabinet. He pulls out a manila-folder appropriately labelled: "Alpha"

"Plan Alpha" he moans and opens the folder, revealing the plan written on a piece of paper. "Legalize crime in Bikini Bottom"

"That's a stupid idea" Karen admits. "Who would agree to legalize crime?"

"Many fish have a FIRST URGE to commit crimes, but don't because it's illegal!" Sheldon explains his diabolical plan. "I'll just circulate a petition around Bikini Bottom to legalize all crime for a week. Once I'm off house arrest, I can steal the formula! MUAHAHAHAHAHAH!"

"Hold on, how will I circulate this petition while on house arrest?"

"I'll post it online" his computer wife suggests. "The internet has made life easier"

"It sure has" Plankton admits.

"How can we convince the mayor to pass this legislation?" she asks.

"We'll just say that if you allow people to commit crimes for a week, then that'll fulfill their lifelong urge to ever commit a crime!" Plankton improvs on the spot. "That should work!"

~The next day, Krusty Krab~

"Boys, do you know what today is?" Mr. Krabs asks during a meeting in his office.

"Pay day?" a disinterested Squidward asks.

"No, Mr. Squidward" the cheapskate replies negative. "Today marks the 30th anniversary of when Plankton attempted to steal me formular. So keep your eyes peeled"

"Aye aye, captain!" an energetic SpongeBob agrees and runs back to the kitchen.

"Does this mean we'll get paid overtime?" Squidward asks.

"No" Mr. Krabs replies before Squidward literally disappears out of nowhere.

"This just in!" a loud TV in the eating area announces: "Effective tonight, all crime in Bikini Bottom has been legalized. All emergency hotlines are turned off, so hide your children!"

"What?!" a surprised Krabs yells. "That's impossible!"

"Grab the register!" a mob of customers chant as they run towards the boat/register. "Yeah, he can't arrest us!"

"NOOOOOOOOO! Not me money!"

"Oh, dear" SpongeBob sighs in fear from the kitchen. "I've got to stop this!"

To be continued

 **[Authors Note.** **Outline for next few chapters: SpongeBob, the protagonist, must convince his dear friends to stop committing crimes in Bikini Bottom and stop Plankton before it's too late.**

 **As of now, characters that SpongeBob must save include: Squidward from Squiliam, Sandy from unethical practices, Patrick and citizens from Mr. Krabs, and Larry.**

 **I'm on summer vacation right now, so the story will be updated periodically, so I recommend adding it to your Alert List. Reviews are appreciated as always!]**


	2. One Hit Wonder

Chapter 2

One-Hit Wonder

~2 hours later; Record Company Building~

"Prepare yourself, you bottom feeders," the arrogant squid [or octopus; I don't really know] remarks as he signs some paperwork for his debut song.

"Thanks, Mr. Squidward!" the worker thanks him for business. "We'll release your song right away; we'll make you a star!"

"What do you mean? I was BORN a star, you dimwit!" he replies with a hint of hubris.

"Whatever, dude" the desk guy dismisses his imaginary talent.

Squidward exits the building and enters a coffee shop, where everyone was stealing from the cash register.

~10 minutes later; Ocean Bucks~

"How'd that stupid legislation even pass?" he asks and grabs his coffee cup, but not before someone steals it from him; he comments: "Our government is run by idiots"

"And now, the latest hit song 'The Krusty Krab is Unfair" the radio on the side speaks, exciting Squidward as the world would now hear his debut song.

"By Squilliam Fancyson!" the announcer continues, shocking Squidward.

"Wha wha what? He continues, absolutely baffled. "He stole my song!"

Squidward quickly runs towards the record company, but not without bumping into his annoying yellow neighbor.

"Out of my way, SpongeBob!" he demands and gets up from the ground, having been knocked down. "My talent's been stolen!" and recaps.

"I'll tag along" the sponge continues. "I'm trying to convince everyone to start acting legal again"

"Fine, just don't be annoying" Squidward agrees and starts walking towards the record company.

"No promises" SpongeBob admits.

~20 minutes later; Record Company Building~

"Alright, you moron!" Squidward yells at the desk person, "Why'd you allow Squilliam to steal my song? It's copyrighted!"

"Cuz you were mean to me" he states, unemotionally.

"Sir, where's Squilliam right now?" SpongeBob asks, politely.

"At the photoshoot downtown; he's the squid of the hour" he replies.

"Great, I'm gonna punch him in his big nose!" an enraged Squidward comments. "This is personal, squid-to-squid!"

"Squidward, wait!" the square dude tries to stop Squidward as he runs out the door.

~1 hour later; Downtown Bikini Bottom~

"Hey, Squilliam!" an anger-induced Squidward yells as the other cephalopod, who was busy with photoshoots for Tiempo Magazine.

"Hey, Squiddy" the arrogant, suited-up squid replies. "How's your miserable, below-minimum-wage job?"

"Oh, shouldn't you know from MY SONG?!" he asks, hypothetically.

"It's my song now!" Squilliam replies with a criminal tone. "It's now legal to steal copyrighted music!"

"Gentlemen, can't we settle this peacefully?" SpongeBob, now exhausted from catching up, asks while panting.

"No, we can't!" Squidward refuses and tries punching Squilliam but fails.

"Squilliam, hear me out" SpongeBob confronts the other idiot on the block.

"Go on, son" he agrees to listen, avoiding another one of Squidward's punches.

"What's the point of stealing someone else's work?" he asks, hypothetically. "Like, how do you live with yourself?"

"I'm now filthy-stinkin' rich; that's how" Squilliam replies, dodging the question.

"But, would your mom be proud of you?" SpongeBob asks.

"Um, no" he replies. "No, what will mother think of me? What have I done?"

"You could just admit that it's my song" Squidward suggests and then Squilliam admits to the press.

"Oh, ok" the reporter speaks, dismissively and then leaves with the press.

"I'm gonna be a millionaire!" Squidward yells in excitement, already seeing the dollar signs. "This song will make me famous!"

Nearby, there was an electronics shop with a TV by the window.

"Breaking News" the TV announces, "after the shocking revelation of Squidward Tentacles creating 'The Krusty Krab is Unfair', the song has suddenly plummeted in sales"

"No! My music career!" Squidward cries and succumbs to the ground.

"Hmmm, I guess people just bought that song because it had a famous name attached to it" SpongeBob concludes and leaves Squidward, giving his sorrow party some much-needed privacy; the sponge says to himself: "Alright, now I've gotta help the others!"

To be continued

[Next chapter: Saving Patrick Star from Mr. Krabs]


	3. Krusty Towers II

Chapter 3: Krusty Towers II

~Conch Street; 2 hours later~

"Patrick?" SpongeBob asks, confused as he notices something odd about The Rock. "Your rock looks different"

"It's a smaller rock!" Patrick proclaims the difference: "Mr. Krabs sold it to me"

"Patrick, why'd you buy a smaller rock?" the yellow sponge asks, confused.

"Krabs called it a wise choice" he explains.

"Hmmm…Mr. Krabs has no experience in real estate" SpongeBob concludes, "this seems suspicious. What if he's a scam artist?"

SpongeBob immediately runs over to the Krusty Krab but finds the lobster trap's sign changed to The Krusty Realtor.

"What?" SpongeBob asks, confused as he enters through the doors and into Mr. Krabs's office, only to notice his boss sitting at his desk with dollar stacks.

"Money, money, money" he sings.

"Um, Mr. Krabs?" SpongeBob asks for his attention.

"Ahoy there, lad" he replies. "Look at all me money from those poor suckers!"

"Are you running a scheme here?" the gullible sponge asks.

"Of course, not!" Mr. Krabs conceals his scheme, hoping the idiot would buy it.

"Ok," SpongeBob replies and leaves the room.

"That worked" he admits, surprised and continues his housing empire. "I can't believe these schemes are legal now!"

~15 minutes later; Downtown~

"My career!" Squidward continues crying on the sidewalk.

"What a baby," SpongeBob says to himself and approaches Squidward. "How're you holding up, good neighbor?"

"We live in a cruel world" the squid speaks philosophically. "It doesn't care about anyone"

"Squidward!" SpongeBob snaps his neighbor out of the moment.

"Huh? Oh sorry, SpongeBob" he apologizes. "What do you want, you twerp?"

"Will you sign this petition?" he asks, having just come out with this idea. "If enough people sign it, we can reverse that recent legislation that legalized crime"

"Great!" Squidward agrees and signs the paper on a clipboard. Make that two since he also signed Squilliam's name, but he assumed his support.

"Thanks, Squidward!" SpongeBob replies and, once it starts raining underwater, he screams. "Holy shrimp, that building!"

The entire crowd on the road stares in absolute shock as a 10-floor hotel becomes soggy and collapses to the ground; the building's sign read: "Krusty Towers II"

"Hey, I invested money in that building!" Fred yells from the street. "That building's as weak as MY LEG!"

"Me Too!" a bunch of other Bikini Bottomites yell; they run towards the building and inspect its materials.

"These bricks are made of nothing but mud!" Fred complains as he stomps on the pseudo-brick with his foot, but then yells: "MY LEG!"

"That cheapskate scammed us!" another fish yells and explains. "He pooled our money, invested little to no money in Krusty Towers II, and kept the rest of our money for himself!"

"See, I told you The Krusty Krab is Unfair!" Squidward replies, alluding to his song in a useless attempt to revitalize his music career.

"Zip it, Squidward!" Fred yells. "We should sue old man Krabs!"

"But, money laundering schemes like these aren't illegal anymore!" SpongeBob explains and then pulls out a clipboard. "Sign this petition to reverse the crime legalization"

"Will do, Square dude" Sandals agrees, signs, and then passes the clipboard around to the other 50 duped citizens of Bikini Bottom.

"So, how many signatures do you need?" Squidward asks, curiously.

"10,000 signed the petition to legalize crime" SpongeBob answers back. "So, we need 10,000 or more for this counter-petition"

"Ok, then" the squid replies. "Let's both take petitions throughout Bikini Bottom and, hopefully, we get 10,000 signatures or more!"

"Hooray, we're a team!" SpongeBob yells, cheerfully.

A grouchy Squidward replies:

"Don't make me regret it"

To be continued

[A/N: I got this idea from the late 2000s when my parents invested in real estate. But the real estate company did the same thing as Mr. Krabs like taking all investors' money and being cheap on the construction, and then using the rest of their money to fund other Ponzi schemes.

My parents and several others sued the company, but our money's stuck as of 2018 since the company declared bankruptcy during the trial].

Next chapter: Saving Larry The Lobster.


	4. GUILT

Chapter 4: GUILT

* * *

~50 minutes later; The Tree Dome~

Patrick's sitting at the wooden picnic-table in Sandy's garden.

"Patrick, what's this?" Sandy asks as she slaps a bottle of mayonnaise on the table.

"An instrument?"

"Wrong; push the button!" Sandy orders him to push the button, which would deliver electric shocks to someone tied up in the tree house.

"No, I can't!" he refuses.

"Do it!" she commands him; "Respect my authority!"

Patrick concedes and presses the button positioned on the table.

"AGHHHHH!" a voice screams from inside the tree.

"Next question-"

"-I can't do this anymore!" Patrick begs her; "I feel so guilty!"

"Shut up!" she yells at him. "Answer the question!"

"No, please!" he continues but is interrupted by:

"Sandy! Sandy!" a panicking SpongeBob enters the tree dome, "I need you to get me into shape; Larry challenged me!"

"Not now, square dude" Sandy interrupts him. "I'm replicating the Milgraham study on obedience!" [Had to alter his actual name due to site policy].

"I'm a horrible person!" Patrick gets up from the table and runs towards the exit.

"What kinda study? He asks, confused.

"Some people felt guilty after committing a crime. So, I wanted to experiment: At what point will guilt prevent people from committing a crime?"

"And, what's the procedure?"

"I ask the participants a series of questions. If they answer incorrectly, then I order them to deliver electric shocks to someone locked up in my tree dome" Sandy explains her replication. "But, the person locked up is just pretending to scream from receiving electric shocks"

"So, what's the point?"

"The participants will feel guilty about torturing someone. And, I'm testing when they'll stop, despite orders"

"Sandy, you can't do that!" he scolds her. "Manipulating people is immoral! And you could get sued!"

"They can't sue me, now!" Sandy justifies her means. "And, science walks a tightrope between right and wrong. Sometimes, science enters the grey area"

"What's your point, Sandy?" SpongeBob asks.

"Do you know how much science would've advanced by now, if it wasn't for morality's sake?" Sandy defends her point.

"I see your point. And, there's some merit to your argument" SpongeBob tries reasoning with her. "But, you made Patrick cry!"

"He called mayonnaise an instrument, again" Sandy comments. "But, yeah I shouldn't have made him cry"

"So, you take back what you said about immorality progressing science?"

"No, that's up to debate" Sandy half-agrees and compromises. "But, I shouldn't have made Patrick cry; maybe legalizing such this particular immoral study wasn't a good idea"

"Will you sign this petition to delegalize crime?" SpongeBob brings out a signature-cluttered paper and pen.

"Sure" she agrees and signs it; she asks: "So, Larry challenged you?"

"Yeah" he agrees and then explains

* * *

~Outside Larry's Gym; 1 hour later~

"Perch Perkins here reporting from outside Larry's Gym. We're only 5 days away from the upcoming Fry Cook Games" the purple reporter announces from the beach, "And, contestants have been training at Larry's Gym, as we're told. But no cameras have been permitted inside the premises..."

"That's suspicious," SpongeBob thinks to himself and tries entering Larry's Gym.

"Mr. SquarePants, what's your opinion on this upcoming Fry Cook Games?" Perch Perkins interrupts the square-dude's entrance, "especially since you retired"

"I have no opinion. But doesn't this seem a bit suspicious to you?" he replies candidly.

"Nope," the fish replies as SpongeBob can finally enter the gym.

"Hey, stay in line, dude" a customer yells at SpongeBob as the former stands in a long line of customers, "We're all waiting for Larry's Body Drinks!"

"Body Drinks?" a confused sponge asks.

"Yeah, you drink 'em and your muscles grow!" he answers back, "now get in line, sport!"

"Hey, SpongeBob!" Larry enters the room and greets the little guy.

"Larry, you've gotta stop selling these Body Drinks" SpongeBob tries convincing him, "they aren't worth it!"

"Of course, they are!" Larry contradicts him; "why put the effort in exercising when you can just have a Body Drink?"

"You don't know the side effects" he replies. "You can't be arrested, but still, don't do it"

"Wanna bet?" Larry challenges him. "In 12 hours, you engage in physical challenges against my buyers"

"And, what if I win?" SpongeBob asks.

"I'll cease all sales" Larry answers and then draws out his hand.

"A gentleman's agreement" SpongeBob comments and shakes his claw.

To be continued


	5. Victory

Chapter 5: Victory

~1 hour later; Inside The Treedome~

SpongeBob and Sandy are sitting at the couch, facing the TV as the "little square dude" uses the remote to surf across channels, more than 500 times by using his now-sore thumb.

"500, 501, 502" SpongeBob pants the countdown as he continues changing the channels.

"Remember how helpful this was last time?" Sandy asks, finding some way to justify her ridiculous exercise.

"But, that was decades ago!?" he protests: "My hands are too old now!"

"Quit complaining and give me a thousand!" she orders 1000 more button pushes.

"503, 504, 505, 506"…

After giving Sandy 1000 button pushes, Sandy drags him into the garden towards The Arm Cruncher.

"No! No! Not that thing again!" SpongeBob cries, pleading with "Landy" as he named in the episode, Pressure.

"Then, what?" she requests a suggestion. "We can't buff you up quick enough!"

"Or can we?" he asks, cleverly.

* * *

~20 hours later; Inside Larry's Gym~

"Ladies and fishmen, welcome to the standoff between SpongeBob and Larry's contestants for The Fry Cook Games!" the live-action fish, who was standing inside the gym, speaks into the news camera.

"In the left, we have Larry's contestants!" he announces, and the camera soon pans over towards the contestants, who were budy bench pressing 300 lbs of weights.

"But, where is SpongeBob SquarePants?" the fish asks with a mysterious tone.

"I'm here!" the sponge announces and walks through a wall, destroying it in the process.

"Oh, Neptune!" Larry sighs in disbelief as he noticed a 10-foot muscular sponge.

"How do you like that, Larry?" the sponge asks, smarmily.

"What? That's impossible!" he replies, surprised.

"Let's begin!" SpongeBob remarks as he flexes his newly-acquired muscles.

"Dude, he's ripped" one of Larry's contestants whispers to his partner; "We're toast!"

"Dude, don't give up on me!" Larry begs with them; "we have 10,000 viewers!"

"Larry, the sponge's ripped!" one of them begs; "we can't compete with that"

"WAIT!" Larry yells as all his men evade the premises; "don't leave me!"

Sandy then enters the gym and comments: "I guess it's just you against Larry now!"

But, then fear plasters all over the lobster's face, who then declines: "Nah, I surrender! I'll stop the production!"

"Good" Sandy comments. "Would you mind signing this petition to de-legalize crime in Bikini Bottom?"

"Of course!" he agrees and then signs it; "I'll even ask our 10,000 viewers to sign it!"

"Yipee! We crossed our goal!" SpongeBob cheers, celebrating his victory. He then runs outside and tries calling Squidward via a pay phone, but his fingers were too big for push the buttons.

"No problem" the sponge shakes it off and twists his limbs, removing water from his overly hydrated body, which had caused him to develop water muscles rather than actual ones.

Now back to his normal size, SpongeBob can finally dial his "best friend Squidward".

"I have 5000" he informs the sponge over the phone: "What? You crossed 10,000!?"

"Yeah, let's meet up at the Congressional Office and turn in our petition!" SpongeBob comes up with a plan.

"See you there!"

 **To be continued; 1 chapter left!**


	6. Finale

Chapter 6: Finale

~1 hour later; Inside the Chum Bucket~

"Oh, my gosh" Plankton remarks upon a realization.

"What?" Karen asks, confused.

"I could've just left The Chum Bucket and stolen the formula!" he answers to his computer wife; "Disobeying house arrest isn't illegal right now!"

"No shrimp, Sherlock" Karen admits with a monotone voice.

"NO!" Plankton screams and runs towards The Krusty Krab. Fortunately, the restaurant's empty and the single-celled organism runs towards the equally empty office, which located the safe with the secret formula contained inside.

"HAHAHAHA! The secret formula is finally mine!" he laughs evilly and runs towards the safe. But, he can't figure out who to open it.

"Having some trouble with that, Plankton?" a familiar voice asks.

Plankton turns around and asks, shocked: "Krabs?"

"Plankton!" he replies as some police officers accompany him.

"What's going on?" the teeny-tiny organism asks.

"5 minutes ago, SpongeBob and Squidward went to Congress and made crime illegal again!" one of the officers explain. "And, since you just violated house arrested to steal his formula, you're under arrest!"

"And, you'll never get me formular!" Krabs brags while holding the bottle. "Maybe, I'll make both SpongeBob and Squidward co-managers of The Krusty Krab 2!"

"What happened to The Krusty Krab 2, initially?" a confused cop asks.

"We shut it down for some months; Patrick got too drunk off ice-cream and ended up wrecking the place" the krab answers.

"Interesting" the cop remarks before refocusing. "Alright, Mr. Plankton; back to prison"

"Ah, rats!" Plankton cusses in anger and frustration. "But, only if you can catch me!"

He then leaps onto the table and onto Krabs's claw: He snatches the bottle, jumps down, and sprints towards the other direction.

"Stop him!" the cops yell and, along with Mr. Krabs, give chase to the smaller organism.

"HAHAHA! I win! I win!" Plankton yells and runs out the door, continuing the cats-and-mouse chase.

[Spoiler Alert: Plankton couldn't steal the formula and got thrown in prison]

The End


End file.
